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Re: Learned something new today Annierose

Posted by Daisym on June 17, 2008, at 2:35:27

In reply to Learned something new today, posted by Annierose on June 16, 2008, at 18:03:03

I hate that coming apart feeling - fragmenting in such a way that you don't know how to think or feel. But I suppose it is necessary - the deconstructing of old defenses and old ways of seeing the world.

Recently I read that when we internalize our therapist to the degree where they become our safe base, we can then begin to confront the really painful feelings of childhood neglect. Studies are showing that children who are neglected are often as damaged as children who are abused. Neglect means you didn't have anyone help you figure out who you are, or mirror to you that you are wonderful. It also means that we didn't have anyone to help with that huge range of emotions - happy and sad and angry and joyful. We begin to limit ourselves because it was all we could handle feeling when we were younger, because we had to feel it on our own. It is a wound that is hard to close and sits inside in such a deep way.

I'm glad she is reminding you that she is there to help you. It is really important that you let her. And I think it is great that you've settled into your "new" spot - claiming it, instead of feeling it forced on you. It is good to recognize our own power to choose.




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