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Re: Not too happy with my therapist today muffled

Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2008, at 8:41:55

In reply to Re: Not too happy with my therapist today, posted by muffled on June 16, 2008, at 0:16:02

The two sessions before last one we did talk about my abandonment fears. The first one went really well. The second one went really badly. I'm not entirely sure what the difference was, other than once it started to go bad it spiraled worse and worse. That's the session where he suggested I quit before he could terminate me, if I was going to let all the good things be destroyed by my anger if he terminated me. He said he was kidding, but I'm pretty sure he said it in irritation.

Then he said that maybe it wasn't a good idea to talk about it anymore. The next session, after I'd groveled apology to him on the phone a couple of times, I told him I thought we were *supposed* to talk about that sort of thing even if it was upsetting to me, because that's what therapy was supposed to do. And he agreed and said yes, of course we could talk about it. That it was just that I was so upset and he had reacted because he didn't want me to be so upset. But I suspect that the real reason is that I was annoying him. So I really don't want to talk about it anymore. :(

I didn't like myself that session either.

The idea of a consultation somehow makes me nervous. I guess I'm afraid that it will somehow bring on disaster. That a consultant will point out how overdependent I am, or say that it would be better for me to ease back on therapy. And right now, I can't tolerate that. I should have run when I could, before I regressed. :(




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