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Re: Love with therapist bird in the sky

Posted by Attachment Girl on March 14, 2008, at 12:12:17

In reply to Re: Love with therapist jenlynnsock, posted by bird in the sky on March 14, 2008, at 1:28:45

> Dear Jennifer, Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since we had this 'conversation'. I hope you are doing well since the tragic loss of these dear men in your life.
> Yes, I am still seeing the same therapist. It has changed a bit, though. My feelings are not so intense and sexual, and my love for him has settled in to being a deep love. Not one i pine for near as much, but a real love. It's so neat to have been able to experience this, with one i trust so much and one who has never let me down one iota. I know some of you may think, one may be able to get this from friends, etc, not from a paid professional. (Well, thatz what i thought anyway) But I am so grateful to experience it, it doesn't matter, because i know it's real. I have never given up on the idea that someday i may be able to hug him, but he just doesn't think it would be good for me, so i trust his judgement. It was hard at first, but so rewarding, tho bittersweet now. I am so glad i gave in to love and accepted his. His 'love' being: his devotion to me getting better, listening to me intently, watching my body language to understand what i was not saying, never letting me know he loved me any different than other clients, fully deserving my trust, sharing with me of himself to help me realize I am trustworthy and deserving. I could go on... I have decreased the frequency of sessions and it's ok now. It used to be so hard to wait until the next session. I feel like i could stop seeing him and he would still be with me, but i just can't bring myself to do that yet...
> Thanks for asking, i really appreciate it. bird

I'm a newbie on the site, but I've been following this discussion with a lot of interest. I just wanted to say thank you so much for the above post. I'm right in the middle of going through this with my Therapist and its incredibly difficult right now, but what you said gives me hope that there's another side of this. I had seen a female T for many years who retired and ended up going to a male T who my husband and I were seeing for marriage counseling. When I realized that I was feeling attracted to him, I went and told him and then therapy really took off. We're doing really significant work on my being able to form a secure attachment. I've gone to a level of trust, and for that matter, love, that I don't think I've ever gone to before with a man. But its been really difficult to settle for just the theraputic relationship (although I'm acutely aware that anything else would be really damaging.) He's an amazing therapist (sounds alot like yours)who has been incredibly compassionate and patient and has created a really safe place for me. Which sometimes makes things tougher. : ) I just lost a very beloved mother-in-law who has lived with us for the last five years and I'm mourning both the loss of her and of the wanted-but-can't-have relationship with my T. You have no idea how comforting it was to read your post. Its really nice to know I'm not the only one who's felt this way. Thank you so much for talking about it.
Attachment Girl




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