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Re: Just slogging through right now antigua3

Posted by ClearSkies on January 15, 2008, at 8:44:19

In reply to Re: Just slogging through right now ClearSkies, posted by antigua3 on January 14, 2008, at 18:40:06

> the trigger was similar in a way to what you're describing. I'm entering a new business and we are at the point where we're talking money. I don't like to talk money, and what I realized is that I REALLY don't like it because it tends to take me to that core place where I can feel worthless about myself. I feel like I have to prove I'm worth a certain amount and I work myself into a tizzy thinking "Who do I think I am, saying I'm worth X amount of dollars?"
> The truth is I AM worth the dollars, but anytime I come to a situation where I have to rationalize it, I become the scared little girl who thinks she's worth nothing. I don't really know why the link is there, but it's an important one for me to explore.
> Also, going into a new venture, like you are, can be very scary. Heavens, ClearSkies, you might succeed, and then what will you do? Teasing of course, but fear of success has held me back for years because it reflects back to my own feelings of worthiness. I've even been known to sabotage myself. But now I know this, and I'm going to push through this and be successful!
> best of luck to you. You deserve the good things that are happening, please try to remember that.
> antigua

Yes - this is all about worthiness for me. I'm investing a lot of myself in this - my time, my creativity, my energy; and I'm feeling extremely needy about getting an "attagirl", but also, there's been no material returns for all my efforts yet. I'm nervous about blindly putting all this effort into something that has no tangible benefits yet. It's kind of bleeding the pleasure out of the process if I think about it too much.

I think I need to take a day off from it. I've been spending time every single day on this hobby/business since October. Maybe I'm just burned out?

Thanks, Antigua.




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