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Re: Agonizing over T Relationships *trigger + rant* MissK

Posted by Daisym on January 13, 2008, at 19:57:32

In reply to Re: Agonizing over T Relationships *trigger + rant* Daisym, posted by MissK on January 13, 2008, at 19:14:24

I agree with you about the limits. No one person can be all thing to another person. I think that is why families -- mom, dad, grandparents, siblings, godparents -- are so important. Every relationship is different and fills a different need.

Perhaps the element that you are trying so hard to understand is the learning. And then the globalization of that learning. If you didn't get what you needed/longed for as a child and you come into therapy looking for it - you might have to learn to mourn and let go. If you've learned to solely rely on yourself, you might need to learn to attach. Therapy provides a place to see what you need to learn, based on what kind of relationship you have or want with your therapist. I think that is among the reasons things get painful. Some people need to learn boundaries. Some people need to learn to trust.

And btw, just because people might write here about what they wish for, doesn't mean they ever expect to get it. I think dreaming of a fantasy while accepting the reality is a very human thing to do. I mean, isn't that why we buy lottery tickets?

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