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Re: Agonizing over T Relationships *trigger + ran happyflower

Posted by MissK on January 13, 2008, at 18:55:39

In reply to Re: Agonizing over T Relationships *trigger + ran, posted by happyflower on January 13, 2008, at 13:05:53

>I think we don't PLAN on such a strong attachment to our T's, but sometimes when there is something in our life that is missing or is missing from our past, it is hard to separate those feeling because we have never felt them before until therapy.

Yes, the care and attention we get from our T's can be addictive and can lead to feeling like we can't live without it. Uhmm, but this attachment comes with a price tag. I have to make the distinction of needing the 'therapy' for my issues and needing the 'attachment' to the T. What she provides me is wonderful and I wouldn't mind a daily dose of that undivided attention and listening and psychological help and soothing. But I have to look for those things elsewhere too. She is there to help with certain things, she can't be, or more I don't want her to be my 'paid' best friend.

>...and you should feel lucky you don't feel this with your T or I should say NEED is it will make termination a lot easier.

As mentioned above, it would be easy to fall into a trap of needing that care and attention. It really does feel good. I guess, yes, because I view the relationship as one day terminating I have kept a certain distance with the attachment.

>although I felt just like you do at the beginning of my therapy and well things developed from there.

Yes, I can see the temptation of wanting to keep on seeing a T even if your issues get resolved. I don't have anything against continuing to see a T for years if one wants to, if it adds to their life and they can afford it. What I don't get is continuing to see a T in a relationship sense, like continuing to visit your mother, father or lover or what have you and having 'relationship' issues like a bickering couple. Then it seems to me some boundaries have been crossed.




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