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Re: Agonizing over T Relationships *trigger + rant* frida

Posted by MissK on January 13, 2008, at 18:27:06

In reply to Re: Agonizing over T Relationships *trigger + rant* MissK, posted by frida on January 13, 2008, at 13:05:39

>i know i won't make much sense because i'm not feeling very well...

Sorry to read you are not feeling well. Hope you will feel better soon. It made lovely sense. I have just a few comments:

>i don't think it's just that we share intimate things and then we leave, and that's it.
My T has told me that her life has been changed as well, i think it's much deeper than that.
I know she thinks of me outside the T room, she reads a book that reminds her of something we 've talked about, or she watches a movie...or experiences something...and she tells me that...

I know my post may have sounded a bit abrupt. Actually, I am sure my T thinks about me as she must do with all her clients and is concerned how I am doing and if the therapy is helping and all that. I don't know because I've never asked her. She has from time to time also mentioned a book or two that she said made her think about me and what my issues are and what I am dealing with for myself. I also think of her in between sessions, mostly about what she has taught me and I think about the care and acceptance I get in her office and it warms me sometimes. I have no doubt that my presence in my T's life, or work is more like it, has given her something as well. But there are boundaries and limits on what we know about eachother and how involved we are in eachother's lives.

>i guess it all depends on the T, patient and what brings you to T in the first place...
in my case, c.s.a..she truly changed my life completely and gave me something i had never had in my life.

Yes, each therapist/client relationship will be different. Myself, what brought me to therapy in the first place was having an emotional and mental breakdown. My goal and objective in therapy is to ensuring that I don't have another one and that I can cope and manage on my own again.

>i am sure she'll stay in my life in some way forever.

Mine will be with me forever in memory. This is where I differ from you and perhaps others, I don't see this person as part of my life forever in the sense of a family member, lover or best friend or something along those lines.

>there are conflicts in the T relationship and i've been through very painful things in relation to my T as well

This is where I differ with you and perhaps others again. I've not experienced conflict in my T relationship or very painful things in relation to my T. This is what I don't understand. I don't understand why a T relationship has to have such conflict or painful interactions. I have experienced painful things and conflicts within myself during therapy, but they relate to myself and my issues and to relationships of my past - not to the relationship with my T. My T has never caused me pain personally or initiated conflict between us.

>T isn't willing to work through these things or get really involved

Well, it would be really awful indeed if the T caused pain or conflict and didnt' want to address it.

>anyway..thank you for sharing your views

Thank you, for your views as well.




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