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Re: Agonizing over T Relationships *trigger + rant*

Posted by Daisym on January 13, 2008, at 14:54:20

In reply to Agonizing over T Relationships *trigger + rant*, posted by MissK on January 13, 2008, at 12:12:31

If only it were that easy - to "just" go to therapy, talk things over and leave with an adjusted perspective and tools to use. I suspect most people who agonize over the relationship spend an equal amount of time berrating themselves for their attachment.

As we've studied what works in therapy, there is no escaping the findings that the relationship is the most healing part of the work. No matter what the orientation, years of experience, gender, etc. etc., if the client has a "good" relationship with the therapist and a strong attachment, there are more long-term benefits. The advances of science have allowed us to actually see changes in the brain.

There was an article recently (In World News, I think) that talked about the number of people diagnosed with resistant depression at young and younger ages. The conclusion of several studies is that the way we live - disconnected from each other, our families, our communities and our work-mates, is a strong contributor. Therapy was found to be a crucial part in helping a person feel safe enough to become inter-dependent on others (NOT INDEPENDENT) so that they were less isolated and had less time to ruminate about things. Many CBT techniques were used but still, the relationship was very important.

If we think about healthy, happy children - they usually come from families or communities where they know they are cared about, thought about and enjoyed. They are secure and they know they belong. Pretty powerful stuff.




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