Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

You aren't a loser

Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2008, at 20:03:07

In reply to My life sucks + I'm a loser **Trigger**, posted by TherapyGirl on January 11, 2008, at 6:49:09

> The only times I've had a partner at all are when I expect so little and give so much that it suits them -- for a time.

This is the part of your post that I felt saddest on reading. You are *so* much more than that. You deserve *so* much better than that.

I know I stand in no good place to say a partner isn't all that important in life. I've been with the same guy since high school. But I will say that while I love him dearly and appreciate all we have, he doesn't make me happy or fulfill my life. Life with a partner can be just as challenging and as diminishing to one's feeling of worth as being alone can be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he makes me unhappy or prevents my happiness or fulfillment. But those things have to come from me. He's the whipped cream and cherry added bonus of life. It's when I'm happy with myself that I'm happy with him. It's when I find myself love-able that I most find him love-able.

You deserve so much better. And I don't mean a life partner. You deserve to expect and want the best for yourself and not to accept anything less. In any area of life.

If a partner comes along to join you, that's great and wonderful and you can have someone to share life with. But whether or not one does, you can have a worthwhile life. And having a worthwhile life doesn't depend on whether or not one does.

Again, I know I don't have much right to talk about this. But my husband and I both laugh that if it weren't for him, I'd likely have never married. And it's likely true. Because carving out the best possible life for me didn't *depend* on having a mate.




Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post

Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.


Start a new thread

Google www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:805676