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Re: i want...****TRIGGER****** Bodhisattva

Posted by B2chica on January 9, 2008, at 11:55:58

In reply to Re: i want... B2chica, posted by Bodhisattva on January 9, 2008, at 10:21:16

ok, i watched a show last night. and it triggered me unexpectedly. suicide trigger.
at the end the fbi lady caught and killed serial killer that tortured women (good) but then when cops gave her a deal she said no, they asked surprised why! she said Very Intently "those of us that fight monsters need to make D@mn sure Not to become them!" pulled a gun and shot head.

what if i have that in me...the monster i mean...even the thought of having a thought makes me what that gun. and i have that urge anyway.
its so strong. like a craving for a food....i want to leave work and find one...:( but the strange thing is...i don't...repeat Dont want to die. but i feel i need to shoot myself...i can't explain. i just feel i need to die.




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