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Re: 2 questions--hope thats ok!! lovelorn

Posted by ladybugsmom on January 5, 2008, at 18:28:49

In reply to Re: 2 questions--hope thats ok!! ladybugsmom, posted by lovelorn on January 5, 2008, at 11:30:18

I think I tend to see the world in a very balck and white sort of way. I either trust someone with my life or not at all. So it takes alot of time for me to allow someone into my life at all. During a session with my T he mentionted that you can trust someone in levels. That thought had never occurred to me. That would be a grey area for me and would seem to cause some chaos. When would you know when that level stopped? It just really gave me something to think about. I think that that was when I really grasped that I am more of a black and white, one way or the other tyoe of person. And I would like to change that. But I also know that this way of thinking has kept me safe in the past. I also tend to pperate with very strict and firm values and ideas but I tend to let that fall into areas that maybe are not that important. And my T really wants me to work on letting go of the not so important ones and seeing that my world will still be safe when I do.
I think that as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse I always look for ways that I could have kept it from happening and so now I am over vigilant in every area of my life and that is where I have the association of it keeping me safe. Does any of that make sense?

As far as security, I try my best to only surround myself with the most supportive people that I can. When you are going thru therapy and working on issues it tends to make your world a little more shakier which tends to make things feels a lot less secure. I have been in therapy for 4 years so I think I am ready to start feeling secure again.




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