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Re: so what can anyone do?

Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2008, at 23:07:08

In reply to so what can anyone do?, posted by Dory on January 1, 2008, at 22:16:13

I don't think that anyone or anything is beyond forgiveness and reconciliation.

But that doesn't mean that everyone at every time will be open to that. People have their own issues, and I think it's healthy to acknowledge that some people won't wish to be open to reestablishing a relationship. It doesn't make them bad, or you bad. It just is, and there's nothing you can unilaterally do to fix that.

I'm sure I've shared my philosophy often enough that you're sick of it. But after you've taken responsibility, expressed genuine remorse, did your best at reparations, all you can really do is to act in a friendly and open manner and hope that one day the other person will be receptive. Sometimes these things take time. Sometimes they never come to pass.

I remember once, in what seems like a long long time ago to me but likely wasn't, I was very upset that I had done something that caused someone I liked a lot to not particularly care for me. I tried so hard for so long, but my therapist was calm and steady. He kept saying that sometimes people won't like you. Even if you like them, and even if you try to get them to like you, they won't like you. Maybe because of something you did, but after you've done your best to repair, there's nothing more you can do.

Except accept.

It took me years, but I think I now believe that.




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