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Re: A Quick followup

Posted by Dory on January 2, 2008, at 13:17:50

In reply to A Quick followup, posted by seldomseen on January 2, 2008, at 9:56:05

thanks guys, i appreciate it. Your mom's story is a nice once seldom, i am just not in a place where i feel like i can absorb it.

this was so stupid really.. lashed out but i never saw it coming. i am pretty good about preventing or getting out without too much damage. This time i did lash out.. oh boy.. but i was being protective i thought. It was a bad idea either way. i feel ashamed that person is inside me at all. i practice Shambhala, wont kill spiders even.. i go out of my way to help people anonymously.. and i try to be supportive, honest and be a friend.

you're right.. maybe a friend would understand and be willing to accept that part of me that comes out sometimes... give me a chance and all. i guess 100 good deeds really isn't as important as one hurtful one.

what hurts most are the people who will talk to me in a crowd, but not one on one... people who say they miss me but won't return a call. The people who i thought were real enough to tell me i hurt them, or to even tell me they cant deal with me... but nope, they smile, or wave or talk as if it's all ok as long as there are other people around. can't undo and cant even talk about it to people who act like there is something very wrong but wont admit to it. What i dont understand is how other people seem to get a break... "it's ok, she's having a hard time..." but not me.

Muffy, there's no one to come clean to

i feel naive.

like i said, bmail is still on.




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