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Re: keeping us in mind... Daisym

Posted by twinleaf on January 2, 2008, at 10:43:55

In reply to Re: keeping us in mind... twinleaf, posted by Daisym on January 2, 2008, at 2:02:18

Hi Daisy! The book is about doing psychoanalytic therapy with patients who have had psychotic breakdowns, which he wrote when he was a staff psychiatrist at a psychiatric hospital which gave intensive long-term care to seriously ill patients. It follows their paths as they recover and move into healthier and more complex ways of relating to their therapists- and to the other people in their lives. Somehow,reading it didn't trigger off feelings of jealousy, or ideas of how to be the perfect patient, although I have certainly had those feelings in the past- not with this therapist so much, but with the previous one. In the book, four patients were described in detail, but because they were struggling to emerge from psychoses, it was difficult to identify with them, or to feel in competition with them.

I guess my motive in reading his book was a desire to know him a little better. As I was reading, I kept thinking, "Yes! That sounds just like him!" It served to put into words what I already knew, but hadn't formulated verbally very well. Now, I'm finding that his words, printed out, are like a snapshot of him that I can turn to if I feel I'm losing my connection to him in between sessions. They seem comforting and consoling. With him, the whole transference is moderated, because you can feel the combination of passion and reserve, participation and observation, humility and dedication at almost every moment.

With the previous analyst, there was much more close involvement and emotion on his part, as well as on mine. I know you know how terribly that ended! I've since learned that I'm not the only one to have had that happen. He is considered (in the profession) to be prone to having difficulties with countertransference, and also to tend to let personal problems enter into his therapeutic relationships. Knowing I'm not the only one helps me on my journey to believing that what happened was not my fault.

You have to really appreciate an analyst, like mine, who, in this era of 45 minute sessions, recently went back to 50-minute ones, because 45 minutes "just didn't seem long enough"!

 

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