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You so NOT whining........ JoniS

Posted by muffled on December 31, 2007, at 18:08:45

In reply to I'll try not to whine... (triggers..?), posted by JoniS on December 31, 2007, at 15:20:23

---you are allowing us to share your burden. Thats good, and I thank you for allowing us to do so. It feels good to help others when we can.
Sigh joni, this whole thing is hard :-(
I would feel very abandoned and angry too.
Heck I was fussing bout my T and its only been a coupla weeks.
I have had some VERY dissapointing emails/voicemails from my T. I have had some great ones, and everything in btwn.
I think the best mails are SHORT generally.
Just enuf to know she is "there", that mebbe she DOES give some kind of a sh*t.
I think most of us struggle with that.
Our T's know so much bout us...that for them to reject us...what does THAT say.....
Yup, it sucks.
Anyhow having read some of your postings Joni, you come across as a very lovely person. I expect your T DOES care, and proly is having his own struggles.
I can never understand how my T can just 'walk away'....
My ikids get so needy....arrggghhh.
So, I bet your T DOES think of you.
Maybe he too struggles with how to connect w/o hurt....
Its tough.
If it was me and my T....
I guess what I have found with her, is that I worry so much that I am being pestiferous. But she has NEVER said 'back off', to fact she has thanked me for being as careful of the boundaries as I am. I expect I MUST push the limits at going crazy with emails, or one night I phoned her 3x, and I looked at my cell history, and she talked to me for nearly an HOUR.
But she never complains that I too much.
I think most T's proly DO care. I think your T proly does care.
I guess what I am thinking I would do if this was MY T. I think I would send her a mail that said I was doing OK, that I missed her LOTS, but that I am hanging in there OK, and I would ask if she could send me an email, and I would say, can you just keep it short and simple and nice, just so's I can know you are out there and OK and haven't dissapeared and forgotten me. But please, just make it SHORT and sweet.
My T has rarely phoned/mailed me spontaneously, I have to ask her to, or she will reply to my message/mail. She has phoned me when she was on holiday, but we discussed it before she left. So maybe if you do want T to connect, then maybe you need to ask?
Or mebbe its better not to?
I dunno.
Maybe it would be helpful for him to hear that you OK?
Maybe he would feel better to know you guys have 'touched base', even if it was just Hi.
For me, it calms down my inside kids, cuz they can't seem to hang on to her very well when she is gone.
So this is long.
I just feel for you and wish I could be more help.




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