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Re: Demotivation vs. attention absorbed by the 'ne

Posted by Daisym on November 18, 2007, at 13:08:33

In reply to Re: Demotivation vs. attention absorbed by the 'ne, posted by rskontos on November 18, 2007, at 12:46:19

I think the appeal of online boards like this one is about the connection they offer. You don't feel so alone, particularly with issues and secrets that are so very hard to say out loud. I think we spend time writing and surfing because in those moments the loneliness receeds a little and the pressure to keep it all in is eased. And for me, I am constantly checking to see if I'm doing it right -- is there a shorter, faster, better way to feel better. Or, in comparison to everyone else, am I just wallowing in a pathetic way, making yet another mountain out of a molehill?

I'm struck by rskontos comment, "One of my few good friends that I thought had her act together told me she has spent 5-6 years in therapy" -- It speaks to how well we can hide our private hell and go through life with our false self firmly out front, hiding all the pain inside. And no matter what we tell each other here, "out there" when you say you've been in therapy 5 years, people wonder what is wrong with you that it is/has taken so long.

As far as a demotivator, I think you can get stuck in checking, over and over, looking for that connection - for those reply posts or for a thread to add to. But I also think you can use your computer time as a deterrant to other harmful choices -- instead of hurting yourself, you type out a paragraph about wanting to -- or you can use it as a reward to actually get yourself to finish something -- I'll check Babble when I've done my homework, or put the dishes away -- etc.

I think rskontos is so right about doing what is useful and letting yourself get what you need. It is moderation in all things that works best here.




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poster:Daisym thread:795730