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Re: Attachment and Missing my T littleone

Posted by sunnydays on November 17, 2007, at 17:17:25

In reply to Re: Attachment and Missing my T sunnydays, posted by littleone on November 16, 2007, at 3:56:44

> I found it really really hard to accept that my mum was actually a really crap mum. It was total disbelief at first, then I fluctuated around all sorts of things like blaming her past, blaming myself, more disbelief, lots of anger, lots of grief, blaming the situation she was in.

*** I think I'm doing some of that. Although I feel like lately all I've been doing is going "poor me, it's so sad, why did this all happen". But I suppose there has to be a place for that in grieving too. (At least I hope so). I'm sorry you've had to go through all that.

> It was really really hard just to accept it as it was. I think I must accept it more now because now there's just heaps of anger and heaps of sadness at what I missed out on and how could she do that to me.

*** I don't think I accept it yet because I still hope for change so so so much. But logically I know it's never coming. My mom's just so unpredictable that it always seems like maybe it's right around the corner, though.

> You probably won't like my answer. I know I would hate it. I would want to hear something I could do *now* to fix it. But to be completely honest, I only accepted it by going through all the phases over and over and continuing to write about it and think about it and talk about it with my T. Over and over and over.

**** Yeah, logically I know that. I just am so wishing it would go a little faster.

> Be kind to your sad little girl. She deserves all teh kindness in teh world.

**** Thank you so much. I wish I could write more, but I'm having a hard time today so I can't.





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