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Re: Attachment and Missing my T Wittgenstein

Posted by sunnydays on November 17, 2007, at 17:12:24

In reply to Re: Attachment and Missing my T, posted by Wittgenstein on November 14, 2007, at 4:52:21

Instead of thinking he was wrong to let that happen, I just assumed I deserved to be treated that way - that that was what I was worth as a person.

**** For me, I think I just assumed I must be wrong, that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. I'm so so sorry that you went through something similar to me.

> As an adult (22) I find it almost impossible to trust - I doubt others' good intentions - always look for a snide comment to follow or what they are 'really' thinking - low self-esteem. To trust was always a mistake growing up.

**** Yeah. I have such a hard time trusting people. They don't understand why, either, when I try to explain. It's comforting to know you understand, although I'm sorry for the reason that you understand.

This came up in therapy yesterday. I said that it didn't bother me whether my therapist liked me or not, although I hoped that I mattered to him in some way/that he cared - I could never feel he would actually like me - just as long as he didn't hate me - the best I can want/expect is indifference. The question of whether he likes me doesn't really make any sense to me even.

**** Wow. I'm soooooo sorry Witti. I love my therapist dearly, and am probably the opposite. I'm absolutely obsessed with what he thinks of me. Perhaps the difference between avoidant and anxious-ambivalent attachment? I don't know. It's just so hard.

I've lost the hope that they will ever change - that was a very hard realisation for me. I don't/can't feel anger yet - and I guess at the moment I just feel detachment/emptiness in regard to them.

**** Kind of the same here. I haven't lost the hope that they will change yet, but realistically I know they never will. It is such a sad, unfortunate thing.

> I'm sorry you both have had similar experiences - it's very hard to deal with and damaging. But you are both doing well - I admire how brave you are in light of this.

**** Thanks Witti. You are doing so wonderfully and are really strong too. We'll keep going through this and we'll get through it eventually and be better for it - or at least I hope so.





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