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Re: Sorting out my session today --long reply annierose

Posted by gardenergirl on November 17, 2007, at 0:02:15

In reply to Re: Sorting out my session today --long reply gardenergirl, posted by annierose on November 13, 2007, at 16:21:09

> Thank you so much for the clinical explanations - it was very helpful understanding the id, ego, and superego. Psychology 101 was a long time ago.

Oy, I hope I didn't come across as pedantic. I wasn't thinking so much about the reader when I wrote that as I was trying to sort it out in my head.
>
> Funny about "boosts" vs "boasts" --- I wrote boasts this morning before I had my cup of coffee but I love the Freudian slip.

:)

> In other words, what she is saying rings true to a point but it's not a perfect fit ... she's missing a component to the issue and I think Daisy is closer with an attachment issue vs. self esteem.

That makes a lot of sense. Those issues are both tied up in how we perceive ourselves. A lot is.

> I feel like my ego is more balanced as in this description. I don't think I necessarily call attention to my appearance or accomplishments. Of course, for the "gala" I did get dressed up - appropriately so. However, I do take some care in getting dressed - I want to look "nice" for work but no one would say I'm a clothes horse. You met me - how long did I take to get ready in the mornings ... 10 minutes top?

LOL, way shorter than me, as you know! :) I hope you had a good time at the gala, btw.
>
> One more clincial question for you. I think my t was touching on what Daisy brought up about attachment, but dismissed it when she said something like, "A young child thinks the world is glorious. I think you had the feeling for a short while with your mother. She was good enough ... maybe until age 2. Then something happened to her. But you had to know that feeling of being special at one time or else you could not be the accomplished person you are today." I am not sure if I agree with that statement. I think a person can rise above their circumstances given enough encouragment from others (for me it was teachers and my grandmother).

Certainly others can contribute to filling the gap, and if they were around a lot, they can fill in a lot. My T always refers to it as a wish for the "gleam in their eye", which is about validation, love, pride, accomplishment, esteem, etc. If we don't know that gleam is there, we can try very hard to see it still. In my mom's case, it's going to a dry well trying to get that from her, unfortunately. I don't know just what your T was getting at, but I do think that self love and esteem, which supports drive and confidence and competence, seems like it has to have some sort of model at first. Child psych is not my thing, so I could be wrong, but I would think that self-love may not just come automatically. Perhaps in the absence of a child ever seeing any "gleam" in anyone's eyes, the child might not ever learn what love, admiration, etc. means.??? But you're right that others can give that.
>
> By the way, I hold you in my thoughts. How are you doing? Are you okay? Are you happy with your decision or are you still processing it?

Thanks. I've been processing a lot of stuff recently, and it's occupied a lot of my mental and emotional energy. And some med changes, along with termination, I think, have pushed me back down into depression. :( I don't regret my decision, but I do regret being too chicken to really talk about grief before I finished up. So much grief, old and new is coming up, and I don't have him to talk to about it now. :( I'm finding it hard.

Warmly,

gg

 

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