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Re: Is this also considered transference?

Posted by Dinah on November 13, 2007, at 13:09:32

In reply to Is this also considered transference?, posted by ells on November 12, 2007, at 21:30:01

Transference. Not just for therapy anymore.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist that commercial quote.)

But I think there's some truth of it. Although they reserve the term for therapy, surely it happens throughout our lives. Otherwise it wouldn't be as helpful in therapy, I would think. We meet someone and fill in the blanks based on our past experiences, or our hopes or needs. I'm not sure infatuation could happen otherwise. :)

You're probably filling in the blanks with this person based on the role he's playing in your life and your son's life.

I don't think feelings ever hurt anyone, as long as we act responsibly. It might hurt your son if you got involved with this man. I would imagine it would hurt a kid if their parent's marriage was hurt by an involvement with someone they cared about. In fact, I know a child who had something like that happen, and it seemed like it had a negative effect. But feelings are your own, and largely involuntary, so how can they be really wrong?

Do you think it's possible to use this moment to evaluate your relationship with your husband? Is there any chance of repairing the relationship? Your feelings for your son's therapist are trying to tell you something, and while it might not always be wise to act on feelings, I'm guessing it can be wise to listen to what they're saying.




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