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RE: posting on the psychology board RealMe

Posted by Wittgenstein on November 11, 2007, at 20:12:59

In reply to RE: posting on the psychology board, posted by RealMe on November 11, 2007, at 16:43:21

I don't know if I'd be considered a sharer or just a commenter/supporter (or as a neither - which is the category I automatically put myself in, as I come and go so much).

If the latter is the case, I wouldn't want to make anyone else feel uncomfortable on here. Personally, sharing in others' experiences has brought me a great deal - given me confidence to ask and discuss things in my therapy that I might not otherwise have dared - it's nice to find others having similar experiences, the same therapy method, who I can especially relate to. I really treasure some of the things people have written on here, reading them several times. Likewise, what we share in chat, when I log-on has given me so much. I want to thank those who have the courage to share the very intimate things they experience in their therapy.

For all those who support and don't exactly 'share' there will be more who don't post at all but who gain from those who do. For quite a while before I posted, I had read many posts in the archive - I wasn't ready to post at that point but Babble was still a great resource.

Why some people do not share as much (or not at all)? Perhaps this is something of self-confidence - I was going to post something the other day - went so far as writing it and then deleted it - thought "who would want to read this anyway" - that sums me up I guess! Hence why I come and go, will post several times one day (when feeling OK) and then not again for ages. I admire those of you who are able to update regularly, even when things are clearly particularly hard - but I understand why many can't do that. When I'm feeling bad I just can't - pretty much everything stops for me.

I'm glad you got the much-needed response from you T. I mailed my T after my Friday session - I was worried I'd offended him. We touched on the topic of the inevitability of someday ending therapy - I said but in an asking kind of way "I guess it's much more difficult for the patient than the therapist" (indirect as ever -- read into it and I'm really trying to ask "do I matter to you? I don't really matter to you do I?") - and he said among other things "therapists are NOT robots you know", which made me feel really guilty. Then a little later I asked how long he would continue working - he's past retirement - again I felt intense guilt afterwards emphasising his age as I sense it's a sensitive topic for him.

Anyway, he sent me a nice reassuring mail, with some humour in it too - put me at ease again. Then he asked me: How can you find the security with me that will enable you to speak freely?

I guess this is something we all try to achieve in our therapy but for me it's particularly hard - I'm so indirect and cautious - afraid I'll make him angry, that he'll reject me. Do most of you address your therapist by name? I never ever use my therapist's name (in e-mails I do but never in person) - he has only ever called me by my name once, when he was really trying to make a point - I know this isn't the case with other patients of his (one of his patients a few years back co-wrote a book about her therapy with him).

One time I posted a fairly lengthy text about several sessions that proved really important to me - they felt so special. I first regretted sharing about it as those moments no longer felt like they were 'mine' - but then when other babblers gave feedback the importance of those sessions felt reinforced. Perhaps others have similar fears when posting things so intimate.

Ok, sorry I blabbered on... not sure if this is what you meant :( - I meant well.





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