Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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wasting time in therapy and my Nerves and Frustrat

Posted by happyflower on November 6, 2007, at 16:47:59

First of all I am sorry I haven't been responding to my emails, things have been hectic, my concert is tomorrow night and I have homework to finish. But baby Lia is still going and actually gaining some weight now that she is taking formula. I guess her digestion system is working even though they said it wouldn't. So we are waiting to hear back from the specialist on what to do next.
Tomorrow night I am dedicating on of my solo's to her and a cool thing too, my DH is coming up on stage to play the drum part. It will be a neat recording and the director is going to say something about baby Lia. So I am happy about that.

But I am really feeling the anxiety of playing the solos tomorrow night. Tonight I am going to practice my imagery with positive thought and bilateral stimulation. Which I can do by squeezing my fists alternately. I remember someone on babbly who does this. It is good becauase it is less noticable so I am thinking it would well in social situations too.

My last session I felt was worthless. We didn't want to get into anything too deep because of my performance. But I was kinda bored with that. It felt like wasted time. I even mentioned it that I was wasting his time. He didn't agree, but I was bored with it. One good thing about my old T is that he would bring stuff up sometimes, but my new one expects me to do it. Plus I get the impression he forgets what we talked about. Sometimes I really wonder if I need therapy. sigh.

and I am also wondering if I really want to put myself out there and play music, is it really worth it. Just because I am able to play, it doesn't mean I have to. I don't know my life just seems to full right now, and I need to cut back. I am thinking of cutting out the trumpet or therapy. Thanks for listening to me griping, bblah blah blah. It was snowing today, maybe that is why.




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