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Re: Not quite dead yet Sigismund

Posted by B2chica on November 6, 2007, at 7:57:22

In reply to Not quite dead yet B2chica, posted by Sigismund on November 5, 2007, at 14:30:03

> Isn't it lovely when people remember things?
> That rainbow was a while back now.

ya that image stuck in my mind for something for me to picture when i'm sad.

thank you and phillipa for responding. i'm so "on the bad edge" right now that i couldn't handle hearing you had hurt yourself. i can't teeellllll you how GLAD i am that you are here.
i think the reason it struck me so hard with you is i remember the conversation we had about kids.(this was a while ago-probably last fall cuz i had such a HORRIBLE pregnancy) and i remember you talking so wonderfully about the little things that you enjoy about having more than one kid. i remembered that and hung on to that.

lately all i've been able to hang on to, to NOT do myself in is my little one. and the thought that 'declan' a Wonderful father who loved his kids so much was able to bypass that and give in. broke my heart and let my 'bad voice' in.

and all i kept hearing inside was "see", "people with kids DO do can too".

and for the record this is NOT meant to blame or point fingers or any crap like that.
i'm talking about whats going on inside me. i guess i keep finding reasons TO do it, and not many NOT to. only one. my little girl.

so i am VERY relieved and HAPPY you are here. kiss those kids.




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