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Re: watching a triggering movie**trigger

Posted by Muffled on November 5, 2007, at 13:55:57

In reply to watching a triggering movie**trigger, posted by B2chica on November 5, 2007, at 11:06:11

he held an (unloaded) gun and hoped cops would shoot him...they didn't. he got arrested and almost committed.

*I had a loaded gun...but put it down when the cops came cuz i didn't want someone to have to live with killing me.
I WAS involuntarily committed.
I don't watch movies or TV much,too many triggers for me, too unexpected.

the scenes in the psych ward, brought back all the memories of the crisis center i went to. it was one step away from the state "institue". and i was almost committed unvoluntarily. i can't even tell you how close it was...

*I guess hosp, fortunately, was not so bad for me. I was so drugged up I was just cruisin along in zombieland. What would frighten me is to be committed with noone to advocate for me(I had sis at that time). I even escaped!!! the first time!!! LOL! Made a zombie break for it! Next time they were more careful not to let me escape. Oh well.

> it reminded me that if i try S. again and fail. that i will most likely be committed to that state facility.

**well, you got people to advocate for you. It would be OK. Not that i want you to try S. obvo, but that if you ever DO need to keep yourself safe, well, it would proly be OK to goto hosp.

> if i wasn't crazy before...i would be.
> and i WOULD die in there.

*I always say the same thing, If I get locked up I would die. But Y'know...I HAVE been locked up....God almighty...sigh...more'n diff places(detox,jail,hosp, all short term mostly)....well, anyhow, I didn't die, I just coped. And so would you B2, its what we do, its what we learned to do very young.
> i'm almost to scared to even keep talking about being suicidal to my T OR pdoc (whom i see tomorrow).

*Well here in canada, they only will lock you up if they feel your are in actual imminent danger of harming yourself or others.Here its not so easy to get into hosp, ridiculous though that may seem. They tend to just lock people into a 'safe' room in emerg for awhile, drug you up, and kick ya loose a few hours later....
When I told my T to NOT ever touch me, or restrain me, she said, OK, she would do her best, but if I left her office in a 'state', and she felt I was going to harm myself, she would hate to do it, but she WOULD call 911. But it would have to be pretty clear and extreeme to do so. I talk bout wanting to die lotsa times, when I panic, but she knows I wouldn't do that to my kids unless I was totally out of it.
> so i guess my question is. how much suicide talk can you have before people finally say (its time to stop 'dealing' with her and just lock her away where she belongs')...
*we have had suicidal ideation threads before here. Again, I think we can talk all day bout WANTING to die etc. But when we show CLEAR intent that we plan to carry it out...then thats a whole new ball of wax. Guess it all comes down to being clear with your T bout this....whether at this point its just thots, or whether you DO have a plan to do it :-(
If you feel you are losing control and might actually do it, then you need to be getting strong help.
Be safe B2, you are cared about.
And I think hosp would be OK if it came down to that, for reasons of safety. You got a good T to advocate for you, it would be OK.
Take care




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