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Re: it's nighttime again muffled

Posted by llurpsienoodle on November 3, 2007, at 8:24:18

In reply to Re: it's nighttime again LlurpsieNoodle, posted by muffled on November 2, 2007, at 18:14:44

> > llurpsie's brain has been in an electrical storm lasting many hours last night. It is sleep-deprived and is reacting to extreme stress by sending out physiological symptoms of depression- early morning rising and loss of appetite.
> (((Lurpysbrain)))
> > llurpsie's heart is broken because she has convinced herself that she is unloveable
> Lurpy is NOT unloveable, she just is scared and keeps others at a specified distance...
> >

I called T again last night and he told me some specific things I can do to keep myself safe overnight (((t))) I just called him back to tell him that I'm feeling better this am.

> Its hard when in a muddle to know what to do...
> I wonder if your docs are well aware of how you mask stuff?
> Maybe not.

I will ask T. He says that the part of me that pretends to do well is as much a part of me as the strugglin-llurpsie, and that I shouldn't try to create some dichotomy in my existence.

> >
> > Has been told before that the reason she gets treated with aggressive psychopharmacology is because she "scares the hell out of her pdoc"
> I think to some extent its due to your articulateness. You express stuff well when you do express it.
> >

thank you muff. I tend to talk about my symptoms a lot and not the things that precipitated them. I lack insight into those triggers and stuff.

> I kinda gathered that. Thats sorta what prompted my skeptisism in a previous post. Sorry if that hurt you :-(

no hurt. reality check, but not a painful one
> >
> > Llurpsie has been fooling folks for years that all is well.
> >
> > She fooled you too?
> No.
> But if I say one always manage to get thru the tough patches.
> You remind me of another poster, and now that i think about it, me too to some extent, of how we convince ourselves that we not that bad off, while inside we are frozen in terror.
> Your formative years where you were supposed to learn SO mUCH basic 'stuff' were totally messed. So now you need to regroup and learn this stuff. That is what I am trying to do. Its so very hard to do after the fact. There is SO much we don't know. The simplest things that others do automatically we can't even conceive of the notion, let alone DO it.
> I've gone from lying in bed, in terror, thinking I'm dying cuz my throat is closing up, to realizing that that feeling indicates sadness, and that its and emotion, and it will pass. Seems so simple.....sigh....
> So do what you need to do to get by, and try to keep learning and pushing forward as you have been doing. I wonder if you would benefit from a 'group' or if there are any in your area that would be applicable to you?

maybe I'll ask T...

> Take good care, this will pass.
> Goto go.
> M
I think it passed?





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