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Re: what to do when T doesn't know what to do?

Posted by Daisym on November 3, 2007, at 0:23:33

In reply to what to do when T doesn't know what to do?, posted by sunnydays on November 2, 2007, at 20:18:52

I know how scary it is to hear those words. I think though sometimes we have to come to grips with the truth that no one person can "fix" us or take away all our sadness. As much as I want to just merge with my therapist and live inside his heart where it is safe, I know I can't. Slowly, very, very slowly, I'm learning to lean on a few other people. It is scary and very hard to force myself out into the world. But I feel better when I don't isolate myself. My pain eases, if only for a little while.

Coping strategies are not just for the really, really bad times. They need to become part of your everyday life. What makes you feel good? What makes you smile? Where do you feel safe? I know when I stop doing for myself all the things I know I need to do, I get worse. And then I cling to my therapist like a barnacle...and the need for him is overwhelming.

Your therapist can help you. But he can't magically erase your past, as much as I'm sure he wants to. And he can't take your pain from you or promise you a golden future. But he can help you help yourself. Which is great and stinks at the same time. It is sort of like the dilema of a toddler, isn't it? Moving away from mom means finding a big, exciting new world. But it also means missing mom. And it is scary as heck. But try to remember he is right there behind you, pushing you, cheering you on and waiting for you when you return to get filled up on safety again.

Hang in, you are doing the hard and necessary work. I'm just sorry it hurts so much.




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