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it's nighttime again

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on November 2, 2007, at 16:38:04

In reply to Re: i had a bad night last night **triggers muffled, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on November 2, 2007, at 16:28:37

llurpsie's brain has been in an electrical storm lasting many hours last night. It is sleep-deprived and is reacting to extreme stress by sending out physiological symptoms of depression- early morning rising and loss of appetite.

llurpsie's heart is broken because she has convinced herself that she is unloveable

Llurpsie has fewer coping mechanisms now that she has told T she won't self-injure. Something to numb out would be especially welcome right now.

Is terrified that pdoc will medicate the hell out of her if she tells him the absolute truth. Is well aware that she can fake being normal to avoid this consequence, but that in doing so she denies herself the chance for someone to intervene.

Has been told before that the reason she gets treated with aggressive psychopharmacology is because she "scares the hell out of her pdoc"

Mirth is her stylish reaction to traumatic stress. At the core of the mirth is a deep terror and withdrawal from reality.

Llurpsie has been fooling folks for years that all is well.

She fooled you too?




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