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**STRONG TRIGGER***(suicide thougts)

Posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 11:34:47

In reply to Strong Feeling..., posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 10:53:27

i just sent this to T.
i hope she can help with things...although i don't know what she CAN do.

why does this happen again on friday?
its getting stronger...the words, i'm scared of them..of if they're true...
and i'm just so tired. physically, and mentally.

i keep hearing... this deep whispered voice (seductive...and STRONG, so assured, so resolute)...these words.
the starred ones are the most common and the most...the ones that make me just sigh in agreement, and cause my weakness.

"you're gonna do it...girl"
"it's not IF but WHEN".
"it is your destiny to die this way"
**"face it, you WILL give in eventually"
**"stop fighting it"
"just give in, you'll feel so much better...everyone will"
**"my words are stronger, than your will"
"you'll never be good enough to fight me"
"ill be right there when you do it"
and just when you think you've won, i'll get you.

i'm not even feeling that depressed, except when these phrases pop into my head and bombard me. right now i'm not thinking/hearing them.

but i have already today several times.

any suggestions?
(i don't even know for what...the words, the thoughts, how to respond...
i just want everything to go away.
somedays i feel i want to shoot the thoughts out of my head...
but then i won't live to enjoy the lack of 'noise'.




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poster:B2chica thread:792929