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Re: *Triggers* about suicide? cactus

Posted by B2chica on November 2, 2007, at 8:45:50

In reply to *Triggers* about suicide?, posted by cactus on November 1, 2007, at 19:17:48

wow, can i relate.
it scares me especially now that i have a littleone. i thought that just seeing her pic or being with her would help but last weekend i found out it doesnt'.
somedays like last weekend its because of depression and feeling worthless, stupid...that i'm better off dead...etc.; sometimes i just want to stop existing.
and other days like the last few days (even though i'm not feeling overly depressed)
its like i have this little voice in my mind telling me (angrily and with full assuradness these things...
"it's not IF but WHEN".
" when you DO die it WILL be of your own hand.
"it is your destiny to die this way"
"face it, you WILL give in eventually"
"dont' fight it"

these are SO hard to fight off after a's tiring. and sometimes i don't have the strength.
i very much feel someday i will give in to these pounding words...

but i will fight like h@ll not too.
i hope you will too.
hang on tight.
if i ever gain insight to end this rumination...i'll share it with you all.





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poster:B2chica thread:792805