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*Triggers* about suicide?

Posted by cactus on November 1, 2007, at 19:17:48

Ok, I'm 37 year old male and have been on and off loads of different meds over the past 14 years. I've seen 2 clinical psychologists, have done CBT and drug and alcohol counselling. I have had many GP's and I have only seen 1 pdoc who is very good and likes to try new options when things are heading south, he is very open minded and he sounds great compared to other pdocs family members and friends have seen. Never dismissing me or cutting me off. I pay for 1 hour and get 1 hour, and we have tried loads of combos over time.

But the thing I can't stand, more than anything thing else, is the thoughts of suicide that fill my head each and every day. It's getting worse as I get older whether I'm on meds or off them. Zoloft was the only one to shut it off, aside from alcohol which I stopped over 6 months ago. I started Zoloft about 3 months ago along with clonazepam and take 150mg of Zoloft and up to 6mg of clonazepam daily. I know that quite a few people might think it's the rivotril(clonazepam) get off it, but now the Zoloft has stopped working. This has been going on for years. I'm not about to kill myself peoples so don't worry, but I feel like when I exit this world, it will be my own doing. Can anyone else relate to that. I called in sick today because as soon as I hit the morning shower it starts with a vengence. Any ideas???? One very confused and fed up cactus.




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