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i wanted to be a writer

Posted by Dory on October 31, 2007, at 20:50:14

once.. i was pretty good. In the 6th grade i was entering, placing and sometimes winning high school writing competitions. i was having short stories published in the high school newspaper. i never had an english lit grade lower than 95% on any paper or written assignment. In uni my creative writing prof pulled me aside and asked me privately to enter a national competition.. i didn't because i didn't have the confidence..

but there's something else... a larger reason i didn't write.

my sister

it was her dream to write.. i can't talk about why, but she didn't have a lot of dreams. The dynamics were complicated.. but i haven't seen her in almost 10 yrs. It seemed like i had it all and she had nothing at times... and she'll never know that i sacrificed my writing for her. i just couldn't take her dream.. i couldn't succeed at the thing she wanted most. She didn't work hard enough, had even less confidence than i do and she fell flat.. never made it as a writer... never made it through uni. It would have been so awful to have been what she wanted.

it makes me sad still. i am happy with what i do, i am passionate about it, but i still think about writing.

family is strange




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