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Re: bad childhood *possible triggers* Dory

Posted by B2chica on October 31, 2007, at 11:38:09

In reply to Re: bad childhood *possible triggers*, posted by Dory on October 31, 2007, at 7:59:05

i just dont even know how to reply....
except that...i wish that reading it didn't put a lump in my throat.
i wish that i didn't understand the depth of meaning behind each written word.
...every word...

>>>.. there are many ways to significantly abuse a child without laying a finger on them

although my 'mother' was not very physically abusive, there were so many other ways, many....the few times she did hit me...i was old enough, and soon angry enough to hit back. i know it sounds SO horrible, but there were truly times i wished she'd put bruises on my face so that people would believe me. so that SOMEONE...ANYONE, would have helped me. hitting me in the head never left marks, nor did her flailing limbs coming at me like wild birds.
...but how she hurt me most, was messing with my head so much. her word games/twists. her "freak outs", her drama, her extremes, her 'shut outs', her blaming me for issues in her marriage. her blaming me for....well everything, for aaallll the accusations of things i supposedly did and was then punished for. i was bad. brother was good. it was very clear in her eyes.
..and of course the neglect or just indifference when i was younger, which led to my abuse...physical and sexual.

this was more triggering than i thought.
but sometimes things need to be said.

i'm glad you said them.
i'm glad i said them.

thank you




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