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Re: struggling w T caring Dory

Posted by B2chica on October 31, 2007, at 11:20:32

In reply to Re: struggling w T caring B2chica, posted by Dory on October 31, 2007, at 8:37:48

> "it wasn't 'nothing'..."
> i want that. i want to *believe* in that. but for 32 yrs i have believed it was nothing. i was told it was nothing. People knew and did nothing. It was brushed aside so no one would cause a fuss, no need to have the neighbours know. What would the church people think? What would other parents think? What would the town think? No, no, no... we mustn't have that. Ssshhhhhhh... nothing happened and we're all ok. :|

...ok, i don't know if im more sad for this or angry for this. but either way...i understand.

God forbid we show anything but how 'perfect' our families were.
..."How Dare you spread YOUR 'dirty laundry' and "made up stories" to someone outside the family!
"your just stirring up trouble",
"don't dwell on the past, you'll just make yourself worse"....
"how can ONE person have SO many problems!"
"i think all of your problems are in your Head!"
"you create your own depression, just think positively" (that was one of my fav's)
i could go on. but these are some of what i've heard over the years.
and mind you...they don't even know what i'm talking about in therapy...not even a clue. just imagine what i'd hear if they did know....nope, it will never be emotionally safe for me to tell anyone in my family. including my DH.

i truly wish better luck for you sweet one.
and to HELL with "what the neighbors think!". i remember hearing a phrase on a tv show once and it sticks with me whenever i want to quit therapy... "the abuser keeps their power by keeping the victim quiet."
just telling, turns the tables..YOU have the power dory...always remember that.




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