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Re: Been thinking/sad faces rskontos

Posted by RealMe on October 28, 2007, at 20:59:41

In reply to Been thinking/sad faces, posted by rskontos on October 28, 2007, at 17:34:27

I have photos from early years, and some I can place like the year I started to be abused. My T has a copy of one of the pictures. The abuse had not started yet, and my T said I looked so sweet. I have my school pictures, and kindergarten I look sick in the eyes. I came down with chicken pox the next day from what my mother said. I had not been abused yet, and so even earlier pictures of me I look really happy and cute, etc. Then I look at my third grade picture, sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth grade, and senior pictures, and my eyes look dead except in my senior picture. Well they touch those up. That's probably why. Later, I have pictures of me and my husband and I look fine execpt my eyes don't smile. Then they did after Menninger's, but now they don't again. I am so surprised that other people don't see it, but I think they just think I am tired because my schedule is so hectic.

So, the pictures of me when I was younger and when the abuse started actually helped me to get in touch with my feelings from back then. It was really powerful. I have not shown T the picture of me that was taken for school after the second abuser moved away.

But as I said, I also have my report cards from grade school because my mother kept them. It is so interesting to see what I was like from year to year depending on what the teacher wrote as comments. Those have also helped me get in touch with my feelings from childhood.





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