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T used the canopener llurpsieNoodle

Posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 16:34:20

In reply to thinking of going down to once a week, posted by llurpsieNoodle on October 26, 2007, at 10:05:27

No Fair T.

We had a nice convo re. decreasing session frequency, he said that was fine, and thought I'd do fine. etc. reassured me etc.

Talked about how I need to stop "acting out". yes. HE ACTUALLY USED THOSE WORDS. Fair enough. I was acting out, even though I only realized it after the fact. Maybe he intended the words to act as a prophylactic?

Then he used the canopener. He said "one of the things I'm having a hard time understanding is _______" and there was nowhere else to go besides the traumatic past. Nowhere to go. So I went there. Now I don't feel so confident in my sanity. :(

I think T realized that I had changed my demeanor drastically. gave me the eye on the way out and said "llurpsie- don't think about this sh*t over the weekend, okay?". sorry T. Too late. you opened up the can of sh*t. thanks... Fine. I'll go there.

I guess one of the things I struggle with is that I feel sane about 90% of the time and insane about 10% of the time. Those parts of me don't want to get to know eachother.

dissociative disorders- ahem.




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