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Re: Resolve did not last long.....panic attack today:( rskontos

Posted by RealMe on October 23, 2007, at 22:06:16

In reply to Re: Resolve did not last long.....panic attack today:(, posted by rskontos on October 23, 2007, at 11:37:24

Actually it is better that you don't numb. It is a through back for me, and I wouldn't do it if I thought I would be okay. I have not said to T in so many words that I do this, but I think he knows. He keeps bringing up our relationship too, and it makes me feel so sad that I was never close to anyone growing up and trusted all the wrong people--better to be abused I guess I thought on some level than to have no one involved with me. Sounds sick when I say it. Starting to feel close to someone always starts to feel like it is about sex, men anyway, and then I despair because then I don't want anything to do with the person anymore after a point, at least it used to be that way. I would have sex with a guy, and then I would tire of him and send him on his way. To be close means no sex, and to have sex means no closeness. I know this is a huge issue, and my T know it is an issue for me from what I once wrote. How can I talk about this with him. It is so embarrassing, and then I start to dissociate. It still works some for me.





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