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Re: How do we really forgive ourselves? **csa trigger* Daisym

Posted by RealMe on September 16, 2007, at 18:15:07

In reply to Re: How do we really forgive ourselves? **csa trigger* RealMe, posted by Daisym on September 15, 2007, at 23:29:58

Well right now I just do evaluations on SO's for court, and even my T asks me how it feels to do this. I am not sure except that they didn't abuse me, and I don't know the person or persons they abused, and so it seems sort of impersonal to me. That sounds awful as I write it and read what I wrote, but I do tend to compartmentalize alot. It is my survival technigue. I have to remain objective so I can do my reports without seeming to slant one way or the other. In addition to what I write and how I write my reports, my objectivity has been something that all attorneys, defense and prosecutors and judges have liked about my work.

So for now, they are them, and I am me, and never the twain shall meet. I also used to work with persons who were abused, at Menninger's during my postdoctoral training, and that was not so difficult for me even though I had not dealt with my stuff. Again, I had everything neatly compartmentalized. My stuff was put away. They and their abusers were not me. So, no problem. Even after my postdoctoral training I worked with not only adults but young children who had just been abused. No problem. I did really well with them. The problem arose two and one-half years ago when I started to develop all sorts of physical stuff, and then I think I just started to feel more vulnerable all the way around.

Even though the physical stuff has been mostly resolved or is being treated, I still can't seem to get away from what I ignored for so many years. At Menninger's they knew about some of it, but not all, and they did not push me. Their philosophy was and probably still is that it is okay. You do the work you can do, and someday later maybe you will do the work that still needs to be done. So, I don't kick myself. Now is the time; that is all there is to it. Well at least I try not to kick myself. We all do only that which we can do at the time, no more and no less.





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