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Re: Where's Dinah? twinleaf

Posted by Dinah on September 14, 2007, at 9:20:51

In reply to Re: Where's Dinah?, posted by twinleaf on September 13, 2007, at 23:28:09

I don't think any relationships have changed, except maybe for losing the illusion of being a competent dog mom and a good enough mother. But seeing the word derealization does help me recall that I do tend to get that way under stress. I am so very bad at remembering times when I've felt this way before, and that it goes away. Whatever I'm feeling at the moment seems like all there is in the world.

I guess that's the downside of a choppy disconnected life because of an overreliance on dissociation as a coping mechanism. :(

Can you tell I've been on risperdal a few days?

I think my assessment of myself as a mother is rather accurate, at least right now. It seems that there is no situation I can't make worse with the common sense approach that I usually adopt with my son. I guess that's not what he needs right now, so I'm just going to bow out because his father seems to be saying the right things at the moment.

That was one area where I used to feel relatively competent. Not perfect. But good enough. I'm a screwup at work, my house is a wreck, I heard someone described in a book (in terms of appearance etc) in a way that I recognized with shock as totally like myself yet even I was disgusted. Yet there's nothing really I can do about it except hide myself.

I guess I'll live out my dreams of being an urban hermit, "the weird dog lady".

 

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