Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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now i am freaked out ** triggers*

Posted by Dory on September 13, 2007, at 23:17:18

i am flipping out. i am so scared.

i waded through work and feel stupid... very stupid. Like not smart enough to be doing it.

i said "no" for all of you from chat who know what i am talking about. i am terrified now. what if it's the wrong choice? i could lose my ability to pay for T!!

i am scared. scared of losing him. scared of having him. scared *of* him. scared of telling him even the little bits i told him today.

today was the first real day of any past stuff. maybe that is why i am freaked out now? i left feeling very sick. worried i should not have said anything, or that the stuff i said was too stupid. i'm an adult now... like, grow up and suck it up right?

i felt good about being connected with him again... but now more scared than ever about losing him. What if he gets ripped away from me once i am in the middle of the past stuff? What if he leaves me standing there alone? i had something like that happen before and i can't survive it happening again.

i wanted to call him and tell him but i haven't gotten over that phone call thing yet.

scared. just plain scared.

please... please... let me have what i need from someone emotionally... please let me have him as long as i need him. please..




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