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Re: Back from today's session

Posted by Girlnterrupted78 on September 12, 2007, at 0:10:03

In reply to Re: Very partial response..., posted by annierose on September 11, 2007, at 22:40:00

Thank you everyone for your input on my situation. Your responses are greatly appreciated.

Racer: Thanks a LOT, you wrote TONS for me, I really appreciate that. I totally understand you're busy, so don't even worry. You've done a great deal already. Thanks again.

As for my session today: My T just recently returned from a 1-month-long vacation, so I stopped seeing her all through August.

Things had been improving slightly when she left--but only as long as I submitted myself entirely to her method of therapy. She also appeared to be doing an effort in helping start the therapy, talking a little more and giving me a little more feedback. Why? I have no idea. If she has her own method, I'm not sure why she'd modify it for a specific patient, but she's trying to make things work, I guess.

But regardless of her effort, I don't feel any kind of connection or chemistry with her. I don't know if that's something necessary in therapy. All I know is that I don't get excited to go to therapy the way I used to get excited to see my previous T. (Oh, and by the way, I was with my previous T for a short time only--I've been with this T longer now, so time has nothing to do with my connection with my previous T. I think I connected with him from session #1)

With my previous T, I knew that an interesting session awaited me.. a session where I could be entirely myself, where I could talk the way I do, I could be angry if I needed to, and we'd talk about the problem immediately through open communication. It was truly a space where things worked out.

With this T, I know that what awaits me is discomfort, forcing myself to talk, forcing myself to pick a topic, forcing myself to tell her about my life, etc. I don't connect with her, she's just a stranger whom I ended up having to see.

I guess I don't despise her anymore. Mostly because I see she's doing an effort. I despised her during the period where she was constantly annoyed unwilling to discuss what was the matter. But before she left for her vacation, she had attempted some changes. I'm just confused on whether those changes will help us feel more comfortable together.

So far in therapy, we have spoken about several issues of my life, without ever reaching much of a conclusion, or without working on them fully and deeply. I wonder how does that help me in any way. I guess I'll give this T some more time to see if her new approach will eventually turn beneficial for me.

Thanks again guys, I'll respond to the above posts sometime during this week.





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