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Re: work; relationships and inconsistent personali

Posted by DAisym on September 9, 2007, at 14:26:01

In reply to Re: work; relationships and inconsistent personali, posted by Deus_Abscondis on September 8, 2007, at 10:10:06

I'd like to add that sometimes being your "real" self with everyone isn't advisable. There are reasons for social norms and "rules" of conduct. Conforming to these doesn't mean you've shed who you are, it means you understand that there is a place and time for everything. Learning to protect yourself is a good skill, which might mean "hiding" the more vulnerable parts of yourself in certain situations or from certain people. There is this notion that has grown that we are betraying ourselves if we aren't authentic 100% of the time. I think it is impossible to meet this standard and we end up beat ourselves up over yet another thing.

Sometimes it is OK to just want to fit in. And EVERYONE has mood swings, bad days and unreasonable reactions to things at one time or another.

And as a survivor, I think we assume that everyone else is comfortable (or perhaps more comfortable) with these mood shifts and social situations than we are, especially if we are working hard to not appear as an abused person. (whatever that might look like.) I'm learning this is a false notion of mine. Other people have tons of social anxiety and worry a lot about who they really are. They just keep it private.

I can really relate to your struggle but perhaps you are harder on yourself than your coworkers?




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