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Re: Frustrated and unhappy with T

Posted by Wittgenstein on September 8, 2007, at 4:20:49

In reply to Re: Frustrated and unhappy with T Dinah, posted by girlnterrupted78 on September 8, 2007, at 2:07:07

I agree with the other posters. Perhaps your therapist has her own problems, perhaps these are problems you are projecting onto the 'blank slate' - either way, her approach sounds like that of a fairly traditional analyst and this isn't the right approach for everyone.

You asked whether therapists practice their own type of therapy or whether there are general types of therapy. There are various schools - such as analytic, psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioural therapy, humanistic, EMDR, DBT - different approaches are suited for different problems, different therapy goals, short-term or long-term treatment, and what suits each client best i.e. what they are comfortable with. Many T's seem to take a patient-centred eclectic approach i.e. they have training in various methods and suit the therapy for the client - it sounds like such a therapist would be more suitable for you, rather than someone who rigidly sticks to the 'blank slate' approach.

My therapist is analytic in his approach, which suits me - I have to start the sessions as he just sits there and looks at me. He does give me feedback and offers interpretations but it certainly isn't an 'exchange' in the sense one might expect from a psychodynamic therapist - I have to do most of the talking. I can see how this would be a real problem for some people - as it could feel like cold behaviour. That said, when I think he's angry with me or feeling negative in some other respect, he always takes care to reassure me that he is not thinking this - and I often have these thoughts. Also, if I ask him a question, he will always offer a thoughtful answer - he doesn't just dismiss me. I wouldn't like it at all if he would say "so what if I am angry?" (actually that would destroy me) - a therapeutic relationship requires trust and honesty, so of course it matters deeply if the client senses hostility from their therapist whether that hostility is real or not, and I feel regardless of their approach the therapist should explore that openly with their client.

The fact you have gone several months and feel so negative about the relationship you have with your T is a clear sign that things aren't right - you need to click with your therapist and it doesn't sound like this has happened. It's interesting that your therapist is not questioning the lack of a click - surely she also senses your negative transference - I would question her why she doesn't offer reassurance or respond to this - why the lack of a click doesn't worry her as clearly it has created a feeling of stalemate.

Finally, you say you found a great therapist before with whom you clicked - which approach did he have - could you still find out? Could he recommend you someone who takes your insurance/whom you can afford? Or perhaps he offers a sliding scale? Is gender a significant factor here perhaps - some people prefer male over female or vice versa. I chose a male therapist as I would have big problems trusting a female T due to my past.

Good luck and hope you find a good therapist and the right therapy for you.

Witti


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poster:Wittgenstein thread:781352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781562.html