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Re: Frustrated and unhappy with T Dinah

Posted by girlnterrupted78 on September 8, 2007, at 2:07:07

In reply to Re: Frustrated and unhappy with T girlnterrupted78, posted by Dinah on September 7, 2007, at 9:36:37

Thank you for your response, Dinah.

> You've given her a decent try, and she's not someone you feel you can work productively with. Perhaps it's time to cut your losses and find a therapist who suits you better.

I've been thinking about this, and yes, it might be in my best interest. I guess I've been afraid of the situation that might develop, and of my T's reaction. I don't know how to handle it and it sort of makes me scared. Terminations are always scary to me, so I guess I'm procrastinating..

> It doesn't matter so much who is right and who is wrong.

I actually find the 'who's right and who's wrong' sort of relevant. I just feel that it would be a learning experience for me to explore the wrongfulness or rightfulness of our behaviors. I keep wondering what is it that make me despise this woman, and all I can come up with is that I have zero respect for her due to her behavior being unethical (imo).

On the other hand, (and even though I think I'm right (of course)) I might be doing something wrong that I don't see? I think she's "wrong", because of the reasons I mentioned: She is not open to honest communication, she denies her feelings during the therapy, she is overly sensitive and takes things personally even when they aren't even remotely meant for her, she believes her behavior as a therapist has no bearing on her patient (so that she feels free to act annoyed without speaking about it, and be unwilling to respond when I ask her.) She never dares speak openly about problems and instead you will see her take a passive-aggressive mode of behavior. Does it sound like an honest, reasonable T? Not to me.

>There are a heck of a lot of therapists like that out there. If you were near me, I'd give you biofeedback guy's name.

I'm in NYC, are you around this area? And you're right. There must be lots of therapists with different styles who might fit me better. I will have to start my search soon.

> Are you familiar with CBT? It's definitely results oriented.

I've read about it, but I've never tried it. My current T claims to know about it, and we were going to try it someime. But given our current relationship, I'd rather do it with someone else.

> Perhaps you'd find it useful. There are other styles of therapy that also stress active intervention on the part of the therapist.

Are those individual therapists' styles, or specific types of therapy?

Before this T, I had a male T for a month only (because I had to stop therapy due to my financial circumstances.) He was exactly what I was looking for.

He was kind, open, and friendly; he made me feel fully comfortable the minute I entered the room. He was passionate about learning about my life. He did a lot of talking. He'd be fully OPEN about anything that came up in the therapy. He was simply the opposite of my current T: Someone who inspired self-confidence, who was fully engaged in the therapy, & who had his feelings under control and was able to be open about them.

Too bad that things happened the way they did and I ended up stuck with this other woman who seems to have her own share of psychological issues, which she denies fully, and which fully interfere with the therapy.


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