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Re: Is avoidance really so bad? DAisym

Posted by Dinah on September 7, 2007, at 8:56:29

In reply to Re: Is avoidance really so bad? Dinah, posted by DAisym on September 6, 2007, at 20:12:26

I know he did a lot of trauma work with people in worse situations than I'm in. I'd actually have thought that would make him more cognizant of how lucky he really was. Some of the stuff he has said about it has sort of affected how I feel about him. Maybe that's not fair.

But you are right. He does often surprise me in a positive direction, especially if I'm clear on what responses I'd find helpful. I don't give him enough credit, or I generalize what he says once or twice to how he's likely to respond from hereon.

(By the way, he's taken to leaving vibrate on his phone, which is a bit distracting, but he very carefully does not glance at the phone when it rings or check who is calling. So I guess that's still ok.)

I suppose now I just have to figure out what responses I'd find helpful. I think it might just be empathetic silence and an acknowledgment that its' a difficult situation.




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