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Re: My T is Apparently a Good Liar LONG

Posted by Honore on September 6, 2007, at 20:42:04

In reply to Re: My T is Apparently a Good Liar LONG RealMe, posted by TherapyGirl on September 6, 2007, at 20:21:52

It's a shame that you;re in such an uncomfortable and awkward position, but I'm sure you and your T can work out a way of dealing with the feelings you have about her knowing your friend.

Oz is really right-- just as she protected your friend, she can protect you-- and really-- we all tell and don't tell certain things to others-- without lying. This is of course a particularly important fact-- but then where would/could it stop? You know that your T knows this person-- but it's still something that she can't talk about-- or comment on-- if you talk about your friend-- so is she lying about that? I mean, it's just one of those unfair situations-- where you have to negotiate a coincidence that feels odd-- and unnatural. Because of course, usually if a friend knows a friend-- you'll know about it-- and often shape your comments accordingly. But you don't have to do that-- or wouldn't want to-- with your T-- and by the same token-- that it's not a usual relationship-- your T can't divulge anything about you or your friend to the other. So it's not something you're used to--

I'm glad Oz's comments helped-- I'm sure your T has privately been wishing at times that she didn't have this secret-- herself.

But it's great that you have a friend, and coworker, who can understand your feelings about being in therapy (not the part about sharing Ts, but the whole thing)-- and support you. So I guess there is a silver lining to the cloud-- or maybe eventually this will seem like a small cloud in a basically blue sky.

Honore


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poster:Honore thread:781230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781255.html