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Re: I'm jealous LlurpsiEnOoDLe

Posted by Honore on September 5, 2007, at 18:45:17

In reply to I'm jealous, posted by LlurpsiEnOoDLe on September 4, 2007, at 20:16:34

There's a lot to be said for waiting until you feel more ready, more comfortable with the topic, or with him, until you know him a lot better. And for letting things develop.

The topic isn't always of utmost importance, there are lots of important things to talk about; sometimes the thing one is most fixated on, or pressured about, isn't the thing one most needs. Of course, sometimes it is. But even so, the pressure you might feel is as if you're saying, it's hard and I don't feel comfortable with it, so it's what I've got to do-- rather than working within or just beyond your comfort. Maybe one particular day, for no special reason, you'll feel good enough, or safe enough to talk about how you feel, or to push through your resistance (if that's what it is).

There's so much, though, that's worth doing, that matters-- I wouldn't think the relationship is necessarily most valuable or helpful, or even the bravest thing-- as Dinah and others have said-- and maybe, if you feel a strong need to tell him, you can talk about why it's hard to talk about-- or that you haven't been able to before. Let time pass, and it will happen gradually, rather than because you've picked this time, or that. You'll get there, if you need to.

Progess is complicated, and often much more obscure than you expect.

Honore


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poster:Honore thread:780856
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781028.html