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Re: Magic Moment - very long + Dasiy RealMe

Posted by annierose on September 2, 2007, at 11:54:12

In reply to Re: Magic Moment - very long DAisym, posted by RealMe on September 2, 2007, at 3:01:37

Real Me and Daisy -

The couch thing is scary. I announced at the end of one session (as I was exiting the door) I would lay down next time. I didn't want to have another discussion regarding the couch. She had encouraged me previously and there was no way in h*ll I was going to lay down.

I chose that appointment date because it was an early evening appointment. SO ... I've never admitted this to anyone, I had a glass of wine before I went. Didn't help much.

The entire time I layed there, I heard a train crashing through my head. It was loud. The swirling, rushing sound was unbelievable ... especially because the room was silent. She asked me if I had a headache. Silly t. I explained the static in my brain and how vulnerable I felt. She stayed with me, calming me, trying just to be with me in the moment, not asking anything of me but to tell her all the feelings that were coming up for me right then and there.

Although it was difficult, I told her I promised myself that I would lie down for 3 weeks, 9 sessions. After that, I would decide.

There are times it is utterly relaxing lying on her couch. Other times, I want to jump up and sit. The few times I have sat up since then, (3 years?) I find equally difficult.

I hope when you feel comfortable enough, you would give it a go a few times. You really can't decide after the first session since it is like any new experience, the first time is the hardest.

I do find that I self-edit less. My eyes are closed and thoughts float up without all the censoring. It's harder and easier because I can't see her reaction, I must trust it. Sometimes I'll ask, "Are you rolling your eyes?" And she always reassures me she's not. I am very attuned to her voice, the inflections, the tone, the choices of words she uses.

It's different.




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