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Re: I think....

Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2007, at 19:49:17

In reply to Re: I think.... Dinah, posted by DAisym on July 17, 2007, at 19:02:59

> I think I've come to terms that I'm not going to get that elsewhere. That's why I'm in favor of forever therapy. It's a very unique relationship, and valuable on its own.
>
> ****Yes, I think I might be Ok with that too, except eventually he'll retire. Then what will I do? For sure it is a unique relationship -- but I think it isn't supposed to take up this much space in my life. He tells me it won't always, that the more we work things through, the less intense it will feel. Right now therapy feels like a life line. And I hate feeling this dependent.

My therapist says I can keep seeing him as long as he can hobble to a chair. I'm not sure if he's teasing me or not.

I would say that it does get less intense. It's less intense for me now than it was a few years ago. It's still nice, but it's less intense. It's like infatuation you know? That level of feeling can't last indefinitely. Eventually it burns itself out and leaves something else behind. Hopefully something equally nice.
>
> I don't know if it's realistic to expect everything in one place. A relationship superstore. Some things I get from my husband, some things from my friends, some things from my husband, and some things can only be supplied by my dogs.
>
> ******Agreed. But I barely know how to get anything from anyone - I'm pretty used to giving. I think my children are teaching me to be optimistic again - I used to be the world's biggest Pollyanna...and my friends remind me to laugh. But there is a huge hole and I'm not really sure who or how to feel it.

You know, it is a gift to others to allow them to give to you. And to some extent, I think therapy can teach you to ask for what you need, teach you to extend the vulnerability that you show in therapy and here at Babble to other places in your life, and in a way that won't cause undue harm. But you won't get the same response you get from your therapist, I don't think. Unless you meet someone else who's been in therapy for a long time.

>
> I'm ok with not getting what I get from my therapist in other places, so long as I can keep getting it from him.
>
> ******But like you said, you don't want what I want from your therapist. I always grin though, when I read that you'd kill each other IRL. Do you think he'd drive you nuts?

We might be a bit too sensible to kill each other. But definitely we'd drive each other nuts. Our flaws and strong points wouldn't complement well outside the therapy room, although they complement very well inside the therapy room.

>
> But I know that's frowned upon.
>
> *****Not as much as it used to be. Think about how most terminations now keep the door open for return or tune-up visits in the future. And many people use therapy to work towards self-actualization, which is a life-long process. And therapists, via supervision and other forms, keep going to therapy their whole lives. So who are they to talk? :)
>

:-)

 

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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Dinah thread:766025
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770208.html