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Re: Needs, wants.....bleck 10derheart

Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2007, at 16:26:22

In reply to Needs, wants.....bleck muffled, posted by 10derheart on July 5, 2007, at 22:32:27

That sounds like a pretty good thing to tell him.

I know it sounds so silly, but when I can't think of what I want, or can't think of what to say, or a way to say it, that's what I say.

Sometimes just blurting what's really in your head leads to blurting things you didn't even realize were in your head. :/

In some ways, it is so very hard. But in other ways it is such a very valuable thing to learn.

My family was just talking about how scary it was to talk about what you want, for fear of being told "no", and how when you are told "no" it can make you feel bad about asking or even wanting.

But in therapy it isn't bad to ask or want. Well, it's not in real life either as long as you're willing to take a "no" but it's so much clearer that it's ok in therapy.

Both learning to ask and learning to say no are excellent things.

So what's in your head when he asks, that's what you should tell him.

Yes, it is a new step in therapy. A good one, with good results, though. At least with a good therapist.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:766025
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/769754.html