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Re: Let me add/clarify antigua3

Posted by Honore on July 13, 2007, at 14:13:45

In reply to Let me add/clarify, posted by antigua3 on July 13, 2007, at 11:15:31

Antigua, I do wonder, no matter what you say, if you don't need a male T who is trained to deal with csa, not one who's trained to deal through cbt, even if he does have virtues and is helpful in certain contexts.

I really don't think that he will terminate you; but I do think he might not be the right person to help you-- even if he's the person you have right now, or even if you want him to be the one.

He just started doing any type of therapy with you-- two months ago-- which is only about a month before you had this session after which you cancelled-- you said because you might have been angry, disappointed that he didn't help or "get it."

I think you probably would go through a lot of this turmoil if you tried to work through the csa with him. I just think this isn't an area that he's trained to work with-- or that he's trained to work in a deep way.

I don't know what you want exactly from him that you can't get from your T. Maybe if you defined or at least got a better idea of what that was, you could evaluate whether, at least in your mind, he is the right T for that. If you really want to work with him, I suspect he will work with you. EVen if he's momentarily shocked or unclear how to handle the situation-- if you know that he's the right one for you, you can try to help him to help you.

So I'd say maybe the place to start is to clarify in your own mind how much you want to work with him, as him-- or how much and why you want to work with a male T, and what specifically your female T can't seem to provide that you need. Then you can start making some decisions are what's right for *you.*

If you figure that out, I believe the rest will follow-- not easily-- but in time.

Sorry if my last response didn't seem to be responsive to your feelings or points. Maybe I don't understand yet what it is you need or are looking for. I'd like to, though.

Honore


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